It is often difficult to think about talking or writing to others in a purely “self-less” context.
We often have our own agenda when we interact with someone on the phone, by writing, or even in person. Questions of our own interest and intent often get in the way of a more honest and realistic interaction and conversation. It is easy to forget that when we deal with someone, one-on-one, we might be doing so not only for ourselves, but for someone else as well. Often we are not only a necessary link in communication with that person, but the only link. If this is the case, we need to be a strong connection, not a weak one.
Also, make a point of “telling” someone something…only if they will feel better from the new information being offered to them. Do not tell someone a bit of information to make yourself feel better! That’s the opposite of “self-less.” You might feel “unburdened” but it is only because you have now loaded them down with the negativity and hurt. Today, ask someone something personal about themselves; this will make them feel as if they are more than a colleague, neighbor, or even a taken for granted relative. It will make them realize that they matter… to you… in more than their “designated” role.