WHAT IS EACH OF US THANKFUL FOR?

Keep a DIARY of Thanks

I found this exercise in a book on Zen living; it’s one of my favorites. Just take a notebook and start writing down the things you’re grateful for. Start with the obvious and work from there.  Easy, huh?  This exercise can be done in the morning, at night, or on the job. ( The Boss might even find you in an improved mood… good for everyone.)

Be grateful for having food, water and a roof above your head. Simple, right? If you woke up at 5 A.M. and couldn’t  go back to sleep, be grateful for getting to see the sunrise. If you’re facing a challenge, be grateful for the opportunity to learn from it.  I can’t help but learn something new all the time. Life is full of challenges and each one is a personal growth opportunity.

You don’t have to write every day, but make sure you open your journal several times a week. It can be very easy to indulge in self-pity, blame, and anger, but appreciating what you have will help you stay positive. There is nothing better than being positive and happy with what we each have been Blessed with.  We each have been given so much in Life; it’s different for each of us.

Things Get Better

When you’re struggling, grieving, or suffering from heartache… the pain can feel unbearable. Even in everyday life, the weight of a little things can be heavy indeed.  But always remember the Proverb: “This too shall pass.” Your negative feelings won’t last forever.  I have learned from experience that there really is a light at the end of every tunnel.  It might not happen today or tomorrow, but you’ll feel better eventually.

When you understand and accept the tumultuous nature of life, it’s a lot easier to stay calm and relaxed – even in the hardest of times.

Mental List of Awesomeness

Having healthy self-esteem keeps anxiety at bay, improves personal relationships, and encourages optimism. If you don’t appreciate yourself enough – or are feeling down – try making a mental list of “awesome” stuff you’ve done recently.  Today, I… “went for a walk instead of watching TV,”  “helped a friend,” “made an excellent presentation at work.” You get the idea!  Make a written list if you want and don’t be modest!

You’ll find that, as you go over your good/healthy actions (which also are A-W-E-S-O-M-E) and choices, you start to feel great about yourself.  It’s hard not to when you remind yourself how amazing you are!  Hey, if we’re not going to cheer ourselves on… then who?

What’s The Worst That Could Happen?

It’s easy to become worried over the little things: the human mind can blow things way, way out of proportion. I personally am guilty of that. To stop that from happening, always ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen?

Chances are, “The worst” isn’t that bad. You’ll still be fine if you don’t ace tomorrow’s presentation/ test. You may get into an argument with your significant other, but usually there’s a meeting of the minds and things actually improve in the relationship.

Sure, it would be better if things went according to plan, but sometimes they just don’t. When you’re no longer afraid of any outcome, you can focus on having fun and getting things done. Don’t wind yourself up for no reason!

Reach Out and Help Someone

We live in a culture that encourages self-centeredness. Even our buzzwords:  self-help, self-promotion, self-esteem  reflect our obsession.  But if you want to really feel great… then try giving to someone else!

Donate a few dollars to charity; it can change someone’s life. Pick up trash on your walk at home or on the beach; it’s respect for Nature and fellow Man… and everyone wins. Call a long spoken to friend or relative, if even for a few minutes; it will make his/her week. Buy food for a local Food Bank.

Simple, simple things mean so much.

It takes very little to help someone out. When you make a big difference with just a few minutes – or dollars – you’ll always remember how important and amazing you are. And with an attitude like that, it’s hard to be anything but positive!

CHANGING THINGS FOR THE BETTER… Try It!

via CHANGING THINGS FOR THE BETTER… Try It!

CHANGING THINGS FOR THE BETTER… Try It!

Look around you and you’ll see three kinds of people.  There are those who hate their life and work, and complain bitterly, those who just tolerate their life and work and see it as their “lot in life,” and finally, those who love their life and work, and relish it. That’s because it’s their “life’s-work.”  The third category is a small subset of all professionals world-wide, but this group stands out because these are often the people who change the world for the better.  They never stop trying to improve the lives of others… no matter how small the change.

In my work as a writer, I’ve had the opportunity to connect with people who’ve made a true and measurable impact in the world.  Each and every time I have met and written about them, it has been an honor.  However, among this group of what I shall call “influencers” there are also many everyday people who have found a special niche in which they’ve contributed at the highest level.

It’s critical to note that people who’ve made a real difference aren’t all privileged, advantaged or “special” by any stretch.  Many come from disadvantaged families, crushing circumstances and initially limited capabilities, but have found ways to pick themselves up and rise above their circumstances (and often their genes) to transform their own lives and those around them.

I have become aware that there are often similar key behaviors that set them apart from others.

They dedicate themselves to what gives their own life meaning and purpose.

Many people  don’t believe in meaning and purpose as something to pursue in their own life.  While others believe in a life purpose, but won’t take the risk to identify or honor it. Those with positive influence feel otherwise.

They have found that there is a purpose to their life and that purpose usually involves some aspect of turning their “gifts” into a message or using what they’ve learned (often the hard way) as a means of being of service to others.

People with a sense of purpose are driven, focused, committed, and light up a room.  They are unable to be deterred or distracted from what they believe is the reason they’re on this planet at this particular time. This sense of meaning and purpose gives them inexhaustible drive and offers guideposts to follow along the path.

They commit to continually bettering themselves.

People who impact the world for the better know that they are not perfect. They understand how their knowledge isn’t “complete.”  There are always going to be gaps, biases, limitations, and prejudices.  But… they keep at it anyway; they are inexhaustible!

People who positively shape the world come from a “beginner’s mind” and a loving, compassionate heart — with an openness to see, learn, and experience new things on the way to being a better “servant” to others.

 They engage with people in open and honest ways.

Those with huge positive influence understand the power of relationships, connection, and engaging with the world openly. They’re not afraid to get “out there”  connecting with others, sharing their knowledge and talents, offering their authentic and often contrary viewpoints and opinions.  They know that positive, supportive, and authentic relationships are the necessary building blocks to anything and everything they want to achieve.

 They invest time and energy not in what is “wrong,” but rather in what “can be.”

The people I’ve  interviewed who’ve made a positive impact on Society, don’t settle for conformity. When they see something that agitates and disturbs them, they strive to know more, get to the root of the issue, research and understand the contributing factors, and arrive at new solutions. They observe gaps and mistakes in common thinking and behavior and trust themselves in their belief that it’s time to push the boundaries of what’s accepted. They want to affect change because they believe change will bring a better way to live.

They spread what they know.

We’ve all met  “experts” who keep their knowledge secret, close to the vest. They’re afraid to let it out for fear someone will steal it or make money on their ideas. This is the opposite of the positive influencer’s mindset. Those who make a true positive difference can’t help but share and teach what they’ve learned. They don’t see their knowledge as just some commodity to sell… they see it as information that has to be shared with the world for its betterment.  They live the universal principle: “The more you give, the more you get.”

 They use their power and influence well.

Sadly, it’s a common occurrence in the world… and Politics of late... to witness power and influence being wielded as a weapon. It hurts and destroys. Positive influencers use their power well and wisely. Those who impact the world for the better are careful and wise with their words, actions, and behaviors. They operate with open heart and care deeply about their leadership, communication,  and the influence they have on others. They take it seriously, as a special honor and responsibility not to be flaunted or misused. They understand their special role, and accept it with grace, compassion, and care.

Here’s to all of us changing the world for the better.  No task is too small.

FACING TOUGH CHALLENGES: IN LIFE AND ON THE JOB!

Some CHALLENGES become difficult to overcome, especially when the odds are stacked against us. Going against all odds, is something we’re capable of doing.  However, to overcome challenges you need to have that never quit attitude in your own life and psyche. If you develop it… you’ll overcome quite a bit.  I am sure of it.

Motivate yourself. Say, YES I CAN.

The challenge should bring out the best of you in this situation.  Slow it down, think that process though… completely. Develop that confidence by saying there’s no way you’re going to fail at this. If you develop that mindset, you’ll get it done.

Stay calm and cool headed when you’re facing serious troubles and problems in personal life as well as on the job. You have to collect yourself and calm down. You can’t panic your way through it.  Take a deep breath, relax, and slow down. Think things through calmly.  Then, and only then, move forward.

Let failure fuel you in a positive way.  Most people will avoid any challenge because they’re scared of failing.  Running from a challenge(s) IS failing!   Everyone fails at times. It’s not how many times you get knocked down that counts.  It’s how many times you get up in life that matters. You’ve heard that, right?  Believe it!  If you fail the first, second, or third time, don’t give up.  Pick yourself up and learn from why you’ve failed. Move on in a positive direction.

Simplify the problem or challenge you’re facing. Break it down into steps; then work your way to the top of it. You have to work from the bottom up. Work through each step of the process of overcoming this particular challenge. However, it all starts by breaking it  into steps. As you get through each step, you develop more confidence that you can get it done…  you will.

Maintain being positive and confident. Overcoming a challenge, you have to believe you can really do it. You have to find out all the ways you can overcome it and put it to full use and effort. People overcome all kinds of challenges everyday. I believe that challenges aren’t nearly as hard as presented… most the time.  It’s our own mental limitation(s) that’s the difficult part. When you get into the mind frame of doing it… mentally,  then you’ll actually be able to do it. Get strong!

Think the best, not the worst, possible outcome. What can really be the worst thing that happens if you don’t overcome this challenge? Do you lose something extremely valuable? Are you afraid you’ll be mocked?  Are you afraid of being labeled a failure? The most successful people have been labeled these things at one point or another.  How do you think they overcome challenges in their life?  They’ve been through the process of not doing it before.  BUT… instead of staying defeated, they used these parts of their own lives to become who (what) they are today.

Learn from watching sports… especially Pro Sports.  Sports are a great way to watch, learn, and understand how to overcome challenges. We, as viewers, get to see in these pressure situations… then watch as the team overcomes the challenges.  Sports for us, are a way to experience and witness that anything is possible. Yes, anything is possible!

We are given this opportunity each and every day to not only accept challenges in LIFE, but to rise and succeed as we deal with them.  LIVE BOLDLY!

FACING TOUGH CHALLENGES: IN LIFE AND ON THE JOB!

Some CHALLENGES become difficult to overcome, especially when the odds are stacked against us. Going against all odds, is something we’re capable of doing.  However, to overcome challenges you need to have that never quit attitude in your own life and psyche. If you develop it… you’ll overcome quite a bit.  I am sure of it.

Motivate yourself. Say, YES I CAN.

The challenge should bring out the best of you in this situation.  Slow it down, think that process though… completely. Develop that confidence by saying there’s no way you’re going to fail at this. If you develop that mindset, you’ll get it done.

Stay calm and cool headed when you’re facing serious troubles and problems in personal life as well as on the job. You have to collect yourself and calm down. You can’t panic your way through it.  Take a deep breath, relax, and slow down. Think things through calmly.  Then, and only then, move forward.

Let failure fuel you in a positive way.  Most people will avoid any challenge because they’re scared of failing.  Running from a challenge(s) IS failing!   Everyone fails at times. It’s not how many times you get knocked down that counts.  It’s how many times you get up in life that matters. You’ve heard that, right?  Believe it!  If you fail the first, second, or third time, don’t give up.  Pick yourself up and learn from why you’ve failed. Move on in a positive direction.

Simplify the problem or challenge you’re facing. Break it down into steps; then work your way to the top of it. You have to work from the bottom up. Work through each step of the process of overcoming this particular challenge. However, it all starts by breaking it  into steps. As you get through each step, you develop more confidence that you can get it done…  you will.

Maintain being positive and confident. Overcoming a challenge, you have to believe you can really do it. You have to find out all the ways you can overcome it and put it to full use and effort. People overcome all kinds of challenges everyday. I believe that challenges aren’t nearly as hard as presented… most the time.  It’s our own mental limitation(s) that’s the difficult part. When you get into the mind frame of doing it… mentally,  then you’ll actually be able to do it. Get strong!

Think the best, not the worst, possible outcome. What can really be the worst thing that happens if you don’t overcome this challenge? Do you lose something extremely valuable? Are you afraid you’ll be mocked?  Are you afraid of being labeled a failure? The most successful people have been labeled these things at one point or another.  How do you think they overcome challenges in their life?  They’ve been through the process of not doing it before.  BUT… instead of staying defeated, they used these parts of their own lives to become who (what) they are today.

Learn from watching sports… especially Pro Sports.  Sports are a great way to watch, learn, and understand how to overcome challenges. We, as viewers, get to see in these pressure situations… then watch as the team overcomes the challenges.  Sports for us, are a way to experience and witness that anything is possible. Yes, anything is possible!

We are given this opportunity each and every day to not only accept challenges in LIFE, but to rise and succeed as we deal with them.  LIVE BOLDLY!

Be Humble and Kind; but most of all… BE HAPPY!

 

HAPPINESS ROCKS!

When you think about “happiness” … you may  think of the future in some way. The dream vacation coming up, the promotion you are working towards at work, the baby that is on the way, or the sixth date with someone new in your life. ( Thank goodness, I’m beyond that point!)

But happiness can also be found in the small things of a regular day.

So, today, look for it. Take just a few minutes and apply one of the ideas below and see how it brightens your day.  I’m thinking it just might.
One minute of appreciation

Take a minute, sit down and just reflect on what you appreciate and love about your partner, or a friend… or even… a family member!  This will fill you with gratitude and redirect your focus to the positive of things.

 Express your appreciation

Tell that partner, family member, or friend what you came up with. It will brighten his or her day. As his or her face lights up with a big smile ( you can also see it through a phone call) … you’ll feel happier too because emotions are contagious. (I’ve caught it once or twice myself!)

 Take a few minutes to see how you can help someone out

Offer some practical help, some good advice, look something up for them, be encouraging and supportive,  or just lend an ear.

Slow down

Walk and move slower for just a few minutes. Let your thoughts slow down. Use the minutes to enjoy what is happening all around you. Truly take it in with all your senses. There is so much simple wonder missed each day because we are preoccupied with our thoughts and plans for the future. Live in the now!

 Be the smile you want to see in your world 

Smile more towards the people you meet and you’ll get more smiles back. You’ll feel better. They will too. Actually, it’s contagious and they will probably smile more towards the other people they meet that day. So, don’t wait for other people to smile at you… be the smile you want to see in your world instead.

 Make someone else happy

Don’t stop at just smiles, give someone a big hug. Give him or her a small gift of some kind. Ask them their name! Cook their favorite food if they have had a bad day.
Actually, you can start your own day with setting a low bar for happiness. Now, that’s a good thought.

As you open your eyes and wake up to a new day tell yourself: Today, I will have a low bar for happiness!”

I have been using this one for quite some time now and it makes the ordinary day… well, just happier. I take fewer things for granted: my food, the weather, my life… and often pause to appreciate them more.

 Be the day you want to see

Don’t wait for someone else to create the day you want to have. Instead, get the ball rolling yourself. Take action and take the first steps forward. Many of us are now wearing “Fit Bits” or similar to measure the day’s activities.  Imagine that you are the “creator” of the day you want to experience in mood, accomplishments, and happiness!  You are.
 Say “Yes” to something new

Maybe try something you haven’t eaten before. Listen to a new song or album. Experience a new author or movie. Go see a new sport.  You get the idea. By actively going outside of what is normal for you or your comfort zone you’ll discover new, wonderful things in life quite often.

Get rid of your “should have” thoughts

The should haves in life can really drag happiness and energy down and make everything feel like heavy work. Do  you really have to do all of those shoulds on your “to-do” list? Or are you maybe stuck in a rut and are doing some of those things just out of habit?

Ask yourself one of my favorite questions: Will this matter in five years? Or even five months?

By zooming out like this you make it easier to see the true value of doing something. You see it for what it really is. Your questioning makes it easier to simply relax and say no to doing something because you realize that it isn’t that important  Do what you deep down believe is the “right thing.”

Instead of letting quick and judgmental words come of your mouth, be understanding.

Instead of snacking on some candy eat a fruit or drink a glass of water. Hard, right?

When an impulse inside of you wants you do something that you know deep down isn’t right for you then pause, be still for a few moments. The impulse will pass and you can  easily choose to take the action you know is right in this situation.

Then appreciate that you did the right thing, give yourself a pat on the back, and see how good it all feels. Continue to do this and you’ll help yourself to build stronger self-esteem.

Enjoy your life, enjoy your day!  Be Happy!

DOES LIFE EVER GET TO BE TOO MUCH?

via DOES LIFE EVER GET TO BE TOO MUCH?

DOES LIFE EVER GET TO BE TOO MUCH?

POSITIVE QUOTES have a way of being easy to digest and feel good about, but hard to practice and act on in real life.  Nonetheless, you can find wisdom in them and if applied can be used to transform your life.

I’m supposed to love what happens to me at all times?

What Nietzsche is trying to get across is the idea that there’s only one variable you’re able to control in your life — even though it often feels like you can’t — your attitude.

I hate to break it to you, but you aren’t special. You’re not the only one of us who has bad days, deals with tough situations or has to endure the collision that human relationships can become.

Not only is your situation common among people living today, but as humans, we’ve been dealing with the same issues since the beginning of human history.

People who lived thousands of years ago were cheated on by their spouses, had money problems, wanted to ascend in life, and felt stuck, lost or frustrated.

The awfulness of life is an inescapable truth that ties together people from all walks of life.

The remedy for what ails us all is the same, too. As best you can learn to find the gems of wisdom buried beneath the trials of life.

Easier said than done though, right?

Ego is the Enemy

Whenever we frame our problems as things being done to us, we fall prey to the trap our ego has set for us.

Your ego tells you your life is supposed to be better than it is right now.

It tells you your spouse was wrong and that they should apologize.

It tells you your boss is a jerk and the world is conspiring to keep your salary and your sanity as low as possible.

Your ego doesn’t want you to love what happens to you because when you learn to love what happens to you it’s harder to rationalize your situation.

See, there’s always something you can glean from every situation.

In the book, Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, he discusses how he was able to find meaning during a set of circumstances to trying for most to even live through; being in a concentration camp.

If he was able to find meaning in a situation like that, surely we can learn to love the things that happen to us as they likely pale in comparison.

I get it. It’s not easy to do at the moment. When you’re sad, pissed, holding a grudge, frustrated, vengeful, prideful, or any mix of the destructive emotions that tend to come with the everyday grind, it’s hard at your situation and accept that it could be playing a positive role in your life.

But your life can be a teacher, even if you don’t want to learn the lessons it gives you in the moment. Even pain can be a signal to act.

It all depends on the way you see what happens to you.

The Most Powerful Tool We Can Use to Deal With Problems

Each time you face a problem you go through the same familiar cycle of feelings and behaviors.

You don’t want to accept what’s happening. You run through the alternative scenarios of what could’ve or should’ve happened.

At this point, you’re so deep in the woods you can’t see the entire forest. It’s often at this low point where you have the most power. On the other hand, it can also be the final nail in the coffin — leaving your attitude cemented in a bedrock of disappointment.

How to some people rise above circumstances ranging from frustrating to dismal?

I can’t speak to their exact thoughts, but I’m guessing they use the two-punch combination I employ when I’m at my lowest.

First, accept what’s happening fully. You can’t rewrite what has already happened. One of the hardest things to do is start where you are. If you’re able to ground yourself in the present moment, however, you can move to the next step in the process.

After you’ve accepted your situation, you can seek to change your perception of it. In Frankl’s case, he had no escape from his situation, but he chose to perceive his situation using the lens of deeper meaning he could find in it, instead of focusing on the tragic nature of it.

What are you going through right now?

Can you change the way you’re perceiving the situation?

Try shifting your perception “something is being done to me” to “I can do something about this.”

The Question that Opens Doors of Opportunity in Your Life

The only mistakes that do true harm are the ones you fail to learn from and repeat again, which will happen from time to time.

If, however, you’re able to reflect long enough to answer this question, you might be able to move forward with an improved perspective.

The question is, what can I learn from this?

Let’s say your employer fires you — a truly down moment in your life. What can you learn from that experience?

Maybe you’ll learn the position didn’t suit you. It didn’t align with your strengths, which made your termination inevitable.

Maybe it was a blessing you got fired because now you can spend time figuring out where your talents lie instead of wasting years of your life doing something you weren’t supposed to do in the first place.

Or let’s say you’ve been in a particularly nasty fight with your significant other.

Maybe you’ll learn to express your feelings before you reach a boiling point.

Maybe you’ll learn to keep your eyes open, be present, and pay attention to your relationship, else something you failed to notice will blindside you.

I know these are only words. In the moment, it will be difficult to think about what you can learn from a situation when you’re seeing red, feel down, and trapped in a prison of circumstance.

That’s the point, though. Love isn’t easy.

Especially when it comes to loving your situation. When it comes to your life, “til death to us part” is a vow you can’t break.

The Power We All Have Inside Us

Learning to love your life starts with learning to love yourself.

How do you love yourself? By displaying character in life’s hardest moments.

“When jarred, unavoidably, by circumstance revert at once to yourself and don’t lose the rhythm more than you can help. You’ll have a better grasp of harmony if you keep going back to it.” — Marcus Aurelius

The roman emperor wasn’t telling us to “shake things off” the second they occur, but rather to fall back on your character and realize you have the power to be good even when life isn’t good to you.

If people mistreat you, you can find peace in being the bigger person.

If life throws you a curveball, you can rest in the knowledge that you don’t have to allow it to change your character.

Some of the world’s most inspiring people faced challenges greater than you and I will ever face. What inspires us most is the character they displayed during those circumstances.

Martin Luther King never let hatred turn his heart into stone when he had every right to have a hardened heart.

Frankl should have become a cynic, but instead developed a core of meaning most of us will never have.

If these great people can keep their values intact during the most trying times, surely we can remain positive people with integrity during our own trials.

Still, everything I’ve mentioned so far pales in comparison to the main reason you should love your life regardless of what happens to you.

THIS 4TH OF JULY… FIND INDEPENDENCE FOR YOURSELF!

This is interesting to think about. While we can’t change the past or predict our future, we can change the present life we are living. We have the choice, every single day, to do what we’re doing and just how we do it. I would love to say that I’m going to “edit” all of the negativity out of my life, once and for all… and live happily ever after for ever. Of course, it’s not that easy. There are real life issues when it comes to living the present. Personal issues, family issues, health issues and… well, life itself crowds the every day agenda. If we could all just do what we wanted to do every day, it would be nice, but that’s not realistic either.

This brings us to a logical question: What can you take out of your present situation to make life more of what you want it to be? Believe it or not, there are even little things you can change to make your world more of what you want it to be. Too often we settle for things as they are, assuming that is how they have to be. They don’t. You have the God-given ability to “cut things out” : negative people, bad places, unhealthy activities and habits, and whatever it takes in order to improve your current Life’s Story.Just as when I’m editing the written word, it’s not easy to cut things out, but it can be accomplished.

This is what we need to do in real life too … edit. When you’re writing your life, you can’t have everything in the story or it gets cluttered and chaotic. What’s important to you? Not what’s important to the people around you, but to you! Give your own story strength of character and integrity of personal choices. You can’t control what others do, but you can control your own actions to the stimulus!

The past may be gone and the future might be uncertain, but we have the power to choose our ” now.”  FINALLY, INDEPENDENCE FOR ALL!

CAN I TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HATE POLITICS? YET, I’M STILL ROUTING FOR AMERICA!

via CAN I TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HATE POLITICS? YET, I’M STILL ROUTING FOR AMERICA!